Having Tools

This morning at my ladies Bible study, we studied the prophetess Anna.  There is not a whole lot said about this woman in Luke 2, but a lot we can learn from her.  She was married only 7 years before her husband died.  She lived, worked, and prayed in the temple and was 84. One significant thing about her was that she was the first prophet to see and share the news of Jesus.  Another amazing thing was that she didn't remarry.  Rather she devoted her life to God.

One of the questions we discussed today was, how do we handle difficulties and abundance?  Anyone who lives long enough is going to experience unfortunate events and hopefully some joys.  Also, who do we call on when we are in need?

In March I went on a ladies retreat with my church called Pursued.  One thing I loved about it was not only finding the true freedom in Christ and fully realizing that he has forgiven me but also that to fight Satan we need tools.  So when the questions above were asked, my response was that when facing trials, I need to get the tools to handle the situation.

Sometimes something sad or horrible happens and all you can do is try and survive in that moment.  After each of my miscarriages, for example, I thought the world was over.  I felt like God had something against me.  It brought back deep, painful memories of my childhood.  God took my mother when I was a child, and I know that if He wanted to, He could have let her live.  In the same way, if God wanted to, He could have saved my babies and let them come to term and be healthy children.  For some reason this was not His will.  I have really struggled with this over the years.  After my last miscarriage in December I became very angry at God.  This is not something that I had done before.  I guess growing up I felt it was wrong to be mad at Him.  Boy have I grown!  Not only have I realized it is okay to be mad sometimes, God can handle it.  Sometimes I think maybe I was not leaning on Him like I should.  Through my sorrows I have become closer to Him.

I really struggled with jealousy of seeing some of the most "awful" people have an abundance of children.  I would ask God, why?  Why them and not me?  It can really drive you crazy.  I had to first stop comparing myself to others.  This was hard for me.  It seems like our culture teaches us to compare ourselves to others.  To get through this grief I have learned to look at the positives in my life.  I count my blessings.  One of my biggest blessings is my son.  God is good, I had my son in a foreign country without family around.  He is healthy, beautiful, happy, and smart.  Another blessing I have is that I have an amazing husband.  I truly do.  He's not perfect, nobody is, but he is perfect for me.  I am also blessed with wonderful friends and family.

Lastly I learned that I must have my toolbox ready.  To do this I first have to stay connected to others.  This doesn't mean I always have to have every tool but maybe a friend has the tool I need or knows someone who does.  It's funny how when you are already down in the pits there will always be at least one person, sometimes a number of people who say things to you thinking they are being helpful that just bring you down even more.  One day I'll write a post of what not to say to someone who has had a miscarriage.  Thankfully, however, there are some true angel-like people who know just what to say or just how to help when you need it the most.  I encourage you to find the tools you need.  Surround yourself with Christian friends who can help and encourage you.  Read and study the Bible.  It can be comforting knowing that many awesome and godly people in the Bible questioned God from time to time.  Don't stop living and growing, reach out for help.  Anna didn't stop living after her husband died of 7 years.  Rather she blessed many people who came to the temple by devoting her time there, praying and fasting.  In return she got to witness the Messiah.  When things are going smoothly and even if they aren't, I want to encourage you to also reach out and help someone else have the tools they need. When we bless others we in return are blessed. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)

⁹ Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.